Jan 7 2008

Milk Without Chocolate

by Kathy

Tips on Cooperation for 0- to 5-Year-Olds

Mom With Screaming KidsProblem: You’re beginning to wonder if you’re the maid or the parent – from morning till night you’re either picking up or cleaning up after your children!

Goal: To quit your “job” and get your kids to cooperate with you and take care of themselves – after all, when they leave home at 18 they won’t be able to take you with them!

If They Can Walk, They Can Work!

Tips for teaching a toddler how to cooperate:

1. Set reasonable expectations based on the child’s age.
2. Notice what your child is doing, and talk about it.
3. Train in small time increments.

Start with something relatively easy, like putting back toys, then move on to more advanced tasks like picking up trash and helping with the dishes.

Contributions should not be mandatory during the early stages of training – these attempts are invitations to practice cooperation and opportunities for training. Also, keep in mind that making the house immaculate is not the primary goal. If you want it clean to your standards, wait until the kids are in bed and clean it yourself then. Once you have created an atmosphere of cooperation and trust, then you can teach your toddler what is clean and what is not.

To begin, ask yourself:

  • What two jobs can my toddler attempt successfully?
  • When am I going to train him? (Pick a time in the day that works for you and your child.)
  • What are my expectations?

What to do when your child says “NO”:

  • Smile and walk away
  • Go do something more interesting: read your book, listen to music, paint…

When the little one tugs on your pant leg asking to play, say:

  • Yes, I would LOVE to play with you, as soon as we use bubbles to wash the dishes!
  • Ask another question: Would you like to learn how to squeeze the dish soap or turn on the dishwasher?

Don’t give up — cooperation is a life skill that takes practice. Your little ones will notice that you won’t give up on them, and that means the world to them.

Posted in Behaviors, Parenting Tips |

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One Response to “Milk Without Chocolate”

  1. Judy Klima Says:

    Hi,

    What if on the way to putting his plate at the sink after breakfast, your toddler, in his hefty attempt to put the plate on the counter, tilts the plate so much that the unfinished bagel falls on the floor. You ask him to pick it up, and his respose is, NO. Do you just leave the bagel there and continue the technique later, or do you pick it up thinking, he tried to get the plate by the sink?

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