This past September Shared Ventures rolled out a new format for its “Parenting On Track” program – a series of 4 weekly live classes combined with 2 support tele-classes and a brand new workbook.

The live classes, each clocking in at 2 hours, focus on the development of respectful, cooperative relationships between parents and children, and include visual aids, handouts, and question and answer segments.

“But what if additional questions arise after the live classes are over?” . . .

That’s where the support tele-classes come in – they provide parents with a forum to ask the questions that will inevitably pop up once they start putting the concepts they’ve learned into practice. They’ll get the guidance they need to incorporate the techniques learned in the live classes into their families’ daily lives – all from the comfort of their own homes.

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Understanding Behavior

Now that you know there is ONE problem in the classroom, (kids want to belong), let’s begin this month by learning how the 99% of the students who feel they don’t belong in USEFUL ways, figure out how to belong in USELESS ways.

Here are the FOUR USELESS behaviors employed by students; more importantly the FEELINGS they evoke in teachers, (as well as every other adult.)

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In August of 1999, Kevin O’Connor, a talented reporter with the Rutland Herald sat through a series of Parenting Classes I was presenting at Rutland High School.

My husband had this article framed and gave it too me as a gift. It has intense sentimental value for both of us. It was this article that brought us together.

As I read through this article (with my 5’11”, 15 year old daughter on my lap), I was struck at all the things that have changed in my life and all the things that remain constant.

Here is a snapshot . . .

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Sidestepping the Tantrum: SAY YES!

Ever look forward to a walk with the kids and end up with a bloody nose, kids who barf all over the stroller, and run away dogs! All higher education degrees aside, this stuff is tough! No one teaches you how to handle a toddler’s tantrum while in the supermarket, bathroom stall or on a walk; never mind two kids at once.

On the Walk

It started out with a “Whhaaa” from my one year old and a few whiney requests to walk from my two year old. Without thinking I react and let the two year old walk! Once you let one out, you have to be FAIR and let the other out. That pricey college degree my parents paid for did not prepare me for the mayhem that ensued! I held my one year old in my arms and attempted to push the stroller while keeping the other child on the sidewalk. You guessed it, I said fair well to the dogs. I don’t even know how the bloody nose and double barf events happened. I can tell you they closed out this momentous walk. It could have been worse . . . at least it wasn’t raining!

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It’s that time again . . . Recess. As I look out my classroom window I see adults interacting with each other; I see kids playing kick ball, talking on the swings, another group teaching each other the latest dance moves. And then I see what I hoped I wouldn’t . . .
I see one student, standing alone.

In an attempt to find his place, this child walks slowly toward the kids playing ball, no invitation—he walks toward the swings—no invitation—AND finally he walks toward the adults—nothing . . .

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Today things are different. Things HAVE CHANGED . . .
If you are raising children in the 21st century, you know that everything from societal norms, cultural fads, expectations of right and wrong, and even how our children address their teachers at school, has changed. With this new and obvious realization, comes another one fast on it’s heels—What hasn’t changed in nearly 40 years is my belief about GRADES.

My Past Catches Up With Me

I was raised to believe successful kids got A’s and B’s (otherwise known as “good grades”) on their report cards. In turn, bad kids got D’s and F’s.

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The first indicator for our family that school will begin soon, is the information we find jammed into our mailbox. Health forms, procedure forms, permission slips, school supply requirements, and welcome letters are included. With four children, age 3–12 we receive an abundance of information.

Each one of my children is handling this anticipated transition differently. I ask myself as a mother, How can I support each one of my children through this process? How much do I participate? How will my feelings and anxieties effect their experience? What will this transition be like for me?

I honestly think I look forward to the beginning of school with less enthusiasm than my children. I love summer with my kids. I love the relaxed nature of summer days. I love that it gets lighter earlier and stays lighter later.

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3 Secrets That Will Eradicate Boredom from Your Teens Life Forever (The secrets are as close as your kitchen cupboard)

From the time our kids were tots, one of our primary jobs was to keep them entertained. Instead of inviting them into the kitchen or garage where we were working and playing, we bought them plastic kitchens and plastic workbenches.

Instead of inviting them into the real world of cooking and construction, we played with plastic hot dogs we couldn’t eat and used plastic screwdrivers that didn’t work. We played pretend with our children for hours each day. We made it our business to entertain them, lest they get bored and try to sneak into the real kitchen or workshop and make a mess (which is where they wanted to be).

When we finally did invite the kids into our sacred spaces, usually between the ages of ten and twelve, our “invitation” sounded more like a demand or an order, and less like a sincere invitation to participate in life’s interesting and rewarding activities. What could have been a fun and exciting experience, turned into a distasteful and dissatisfying experience—we waited too long to invite—we were too busy entertaining. Read More . . .

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Boredom: the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest —Websters Dictionary

We can’t believe our ears.
The kids have been out of school a month and they are already claiming, ”I’m Bored. There’s nothing to do.”
When I was growing up, I lived on a street with lots of kids. Parents were always available to sit on the sidewalk as we rode our bikes, built forts, performed plays, set up lemonade stands, played kick ball in the street and a number of other activities. I can’t imagine one of us ever considering summer as a time of boredom. Summer meant freedom. Pure and simple. Freedom to explore, create, relax, day dream and play until we were plumb tuckered out. It seems that things have changed.

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I am the mother of 5 teenagers. My first child graduated from high school a few weeks ago. I wasn’t ready for it. I thought I was ready for it—but I was lying to myself. I am forever telling other parents that the day will come when their nursing babies will be full grown adults, and it will happen when they aren’t looking. I was right. My daughter grew up when I wasn’t looking. I realize I was basking in Hannah’s childhood even as she was growing into an amazing young woman.

It occurs to me, that for many parents, whether they have children graduating from pre-school to kindergarten, from elementary to high school or from college into the job market, graduation is about more than where our kids have been. It’s more than the grades they received, the friendships they made, the teams they were a part of. Graduation for my senior, is also about stepping into her independence and the adventure ahead.

I find myself feeling inspired, melancholy, reflective and deeply moved as I experience this transition in my daughters life. I feel better when I realize I am not so much saying goodbye to Hannah’s youth, as much as I am saying hello to her adult self. I’m excited about this new phase of our relationship even if I don’t know what that means.

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